just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
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