i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
He had one of those small greek statue penises
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize