So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
