a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
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is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
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It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
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