Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
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