Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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