apparently the secret to your success is patron
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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