i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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