There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
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I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
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