I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Randomize
