So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
