i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
mondays should just be called national damage control day
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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