New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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