If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
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