i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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