Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
