Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
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