jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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