I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
