didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Randomize
