Ambien. No doubt about it.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
