I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Randomize
