one word: firstdatebathroomanal
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I understand Curling. That high.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
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