i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
It was confusing and full of hummus
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
