Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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