I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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