The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
