Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
