Plan B is the new Plan A
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
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