Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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