Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
You need a sexual gate keeper
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
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