Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
