..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
He did a backflip because drugs
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
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