Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
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