If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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