Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I fill condoms, not promises.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
