I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
