I got chris browned last night
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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