i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
