I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
