just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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