If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
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