my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I will pee on everything he values.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
