Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
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