What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
