There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
