Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
