I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
