i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
