my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
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