i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize