I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
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And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
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