Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
