I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
