Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
