I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
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