Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize