My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize