I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
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