babies were throwing up all over the place
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
