you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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