Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
Randomize
