you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
if i died would you start the facebook group?
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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